Here is a beautiful example of the type of really inspiring emails that are starting to pour in. This one is so gorgeous, that I had to share it with you before Shabbos. I want to translate this one into Hebrew and show it to Rav Arush. Wow will he have Nachas from my friend, Natan! Take this one with you into a wonderful Shabbos Hagadol!
Hello Reb Zev,
I’ve been applying the Rav’s advice of not “disciplining” my children, specially my second one (5 year-old) who’s always up to something interesting. I’ve been praying for them as you suggested, and kindly asked him to please not climb on the balcony railing because it’s dangerous. He usually doesn’t listen when asked in a kind manner. Anyway, the other day I overheard him asking my wife for some object that was beyond his reach. She told him to take a chair and climb to get it. He responded, “Ima, I’m not allowed to climb. Aba said that I’m not allowed!” It was amazing! I immediately gave thanks to Hashem. Do you realize what a ness? He had his mother's permission to climb and refused!! This would never have occurred before!!
I’m learning that the way I’ve been disciplining my children through yelling and hitting (may Hashem spare us) only worked when I was around. As soon as I wasn’t around, the negative behavior continued. It’s the theory of “When the cat’s away the mice come out to play.” They learn to fear me, instead of emuna, love and respect. This doesn't build my emuna or improve me in any way.
Thanks for your advice. I can see how the Rav’s words are so true! We just have to continue interpreting Hashem’s messages through our children’s behavior, make teshuvah and pray for them. Somehow, I never realized that their behavior is also from Hashem. Just another area to apply emuna to. Once we fix ourselves, the negative behaviors will decrease.