Emuna Therapy

Why Wedding Bell Blues

 
 

By Dr. Zev Ballen                        

For anyone who has implemented  Rabbi Shalom Arush's phenomenally successful advice for a winning marriage, the following research published in Psychology Today is impossible to imagine.

Researchers Allison Scott and Laura Stafford found that one out of ten women experience depression in the first year of marriage.

What is leading newlywed couples to experience this post-wedding let down?

They interviewed a group of newlywed women who became depressed after their weddings to try to determine the reason.

The results:

"The women had funneled all of their time and energy into planning their big day, and now they weren’t quite sure what to do with themselves...The depressed brides viewed their weddings as the end goal. In contrast, happy brides viewed their weddings as the start of a new chapter."

According to the US Census Bureau there are  2.3 million couples getting married every year in the US. According to the study published in Psychology Today, this means that 230,000 women a year are becoming depressed after their wedding day in the U.S. alone! 

Here is one of the "tips" that the researchers recommend to young couples to prevent viewing the wedding day as an end in itself:

1. Restrict talking about your wedding to a few nights a month, and speak instead about non-wedding things together.

With all due respect, I have a different recommendation. For men it is to read The Garden of Peace. For women - read Women's Wisdom. These books became instant best sellers in Israel for a reason. Rabbi Arush, whose track record as a marital counselor is simply phenomenal, only gives advice that is girded firmly in the foundations of Talmudic and Jewish esoteric thought - every page is crystal clear and reader friendly and can help people from all backgrounds regardless of whether you are planning your wedding or need an improvement in your current marriage. You can order the books right here.

With Blessings,

Dr. Zev Ballen 

Photo Credit: travelingrhinos 

The Very First Words

By Dr. Zev Ballen

Rabbi Lazer Brody, who for years has been a steadfastly loyal pupil of Rav Shalom Arush, told me that though many people know that Rav Arush is a tzaddik, they still don't know what level of tzaddik he is - his spiritual powers are simply awesome.
 
The following two stories prove it.
 
I heard from Rav Dror Moshe Cassuto that there was a large gathering of people, here in Israel, several years ago. Thousands of people came to participate and hear a panel of distinguished Rabbis speak. 
 
The organizer of this event had the merit to drive Rabbi Dovid Stern from Bnei Brak to the gathering. Rabbi Dovid Stern is the son of one of the thirty-six hidden tzaddikim of our generation.  On the way, in the car, the organizer of the event remarked to Rabbi Dovid Stern,  

that there is someone who makes CD's, his name is Shalom Arush.  He said, 'I simply cannot stand to hear that man's voice.' 
 
Rabbi Dovid looked the man squarely in the eyes and said: 'You obviously don't know who you are speaking about. Rabbi Shalom Arush has achieved something than no human being has achieved since the creation of the world.' 
 
If you have any doubt about it - read this:
 
My chavrusa (study partner) told me this story. He heard it from Rav Dror.
 
There was a man living here in Israel. He was a non-religious Jew whose wife divorced him. The man was given a terrible judgment in court. He had to pay almost his whole salary to his ex-wife every month. As time went on, he became more and more depressed.  It was bad enough to lose his family, but to work like a dog for the rest of his life and have nothing for himself - that was too much to bear. He decided he would end his life. 
 
He took his car out on the highway. He put his foot all the way down on the accelerator and thought that eventually he would crash into something - then his suffering would be over. 
 
The car raced up to 90mph...then 100mph...then 115mph - When all of a sudden, the young man saw one of Rabbi Shalom Arush's CD's sitting next to him.  One of Rabbi Shalom Arush's students had given it to him at an intersection. He had never listened to it. 
 
Seconds away from disaster, his hand inexplicably reached for the CD. He thought that if he listened to it as he was leaving this world at least he would go out listening to something holy. He was hoping that this would help him in the next world. He shoved the disk into the player and hit the button a few times. By now he was flying at 120 mph. He didn't care about listening to the disk from the beginning. It started someone in the middle. 
 
The very first words that he heard Rabbi Shalom say were: "WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF?" Continue here...

Have a Blessed week!

Dr. Zev Ballen

Why Murder?

By Dr. Zev Ballen

We live in a generation of senseless hatred and violence. With Tisha B'Av coming on Sunday, join me for a discussion of the causes and the solution to our current dilemma according to the holy teachings of my beloved Rebbe - Rabbi Shalom Arush. This isn't for children.

 

The Best Of Both

                                          Rabbi Shalom Arush

I received the following question:

Dr. Ballen,

It seems that people who have been religious from birth have certain ingredients that they can pass down to their children that bale teshuva (people who choose to be religious) don't have. Do you agree that as bale teshuva we are missing something, and if so, is it possible to still acquire it?

I'm looking forward to your answer.

Julie

******************************************************************

Julie,

A bal teshuva is missing nothing. He was created to be exactly what Hashem wanted him to be. Hashem created two groups: The frum from birth (FFB's) and the bale teshuva (BT's).  There is no reason for us to envy the FFB's, on the contrary - we need each other!

BT's can learn from FFB's about how to be Jewish while FFB's learn from BT's an even deeper lesson - why to be Jewish in the first place!...

You can see the remainder of my answer to Julie in this weeks Shabbos Newsletter courtesy of Breslev Israel and the Chut Shel Chesed Yeshiva of Rabbi Shalom Arush:  Download CSC NL Week 33 Devarim - Shabbat Chazon.

Have a wonderful Family Shabbos,

Dr. Zev Ballen

 

The Mystical You

By Dr. Zev Ballen

There is a part of your brain that is beyond time and space - it's called your Neshoma or Divine Soul. How can you access and use your Neshoma in your everyday life? This training-video will get you started.

 

Live Broadcast Today: Why Murder?

By Dr. Zev Ballen

We live in a generation of senseless hatred and violence. With Tisha B'Av coming in just three days, join me for a discussion of the causes and the solution to our current dilemma, according to the holy teachings of my beloved Rebbe and spiritual guide, Rabbi Shalom Arush. 

With Hashem's Loving Kindness, we will be broadcasting live today, Wednesday at 5:00pm Israel time from the Chut Shel Chesed Yeshiva, 13 Shmuel Hanavi Street, Jerusalem.

 You can see it right here. The broadcast, as well as our lessons posted from now on - are Mac and iPod compatible. If you tune in too early to the live broadcast link, you'll be sent to the main page of the Breslev Israel website, so try to tune in on time as follows:

10:AM in NY, 7:00 AM in LA and the West Coast, 8:00 AM Denver, 9:00 AM in Mexico and Central Daylight, 3:00 PM in the UK, and 5:00 PM Israel time. If you are not able to watch the lesson live, we will, G-d willing be posting a link to it soon. If you can't see the broadcast, you might need to download a new version of Flash Media player which you can do here. We hope you enjoy the broadcast.

Wishing You Blessings Always,

Dr. Zev Ballen

 

 

 

Remembering the Holy Arizal

Today is the yartzeit of the father of Jewish mysticism, the holy Arizal. He passed away today, the 5th day of the month of Av in the year 1572 and was buried in the old cememtary in Safas in Galilee region of Israel. The Ari was so holy that he knew the languages of the animals and birds and could see souls in the flame of a candle.

Once one of his students saw the master's lips were moving while he was napping on Shabbos. The student bent down to hear what the Arizal was saying and woke him up. The tzaddick asked his student what he was doing and the the student answered that he wanted to hear. The Arizal told his student that when he sleeps that his soul goes to Heaven and learns the mysteries of the Torah. The student asked if the Arizal would tell him what he just learned. The Ari answered that if all of the seas were ink and all of the sky were paper he would not be able to write down in 80 years what he just learned.

In honor of the Arizal's passing, here is a short video from ilovetorah.

 

With Blessings, Dr. Zev Ballen 

The Thread Of Happiness

By Dr. Zev Ballen

I stood fixated by the beautiful architecture of the modern-day mansion before me. My eyes greedily surveyed the opulent curves of its large archways; its intricate brickwork, numerous rooms and terraces. The lavish garden surrounding the house, features  beautiful custom made benches and chairs on a spacious lawn. All around are a wide variety of rare looking flowers and trees - everything is perfectly arranged. A magnificent brick wall, iron gate and tree-lined fence surrounds the property.
 
Tucked away at the far end of an old charedi neighborhood, the mansion  conspicuously dwarfs the old apartments that surround it. It's size and opulence appear almost obscene in that context.
 
Nevertheless, I like to walk there at night. It is a quiet and pleasant place to think and pray. Tonight, more than ever before, I was drawn to the sheer beauty of the balconies and the huge chandelier which was visible through the window. A gentle breeze carried a delicious fragrance of flower blossoms through the tall fence to where I stood on the street. I was starting to lose myself. A wish to enjoy and possess this house was pulling me away from my prayers. 
 
The power of imagine took hold of me - I entered another 'world' but not a good one. Suddenly I was walkingthrough the rooms ofmy mansion, rubbing my hand along my expensive furnishings, admiring my artwork. And, at last, even taking my place at the head of a long table before hundreds of illustrious guests. I was about to deliver an important message when, thank G-d, I woke up.
 
'Master of the Universe, what's going on here!? I came outside to speak to You, and I'm stealing my neighbors house?'
 
The truth is I wouldn't know what to do with his house. It would be nothing but headaches for me to own it. Who has the time to think about all the details of decorating such a house and maintaining it in style? What would I do when items need replacing? Where will I ever find replacements for those fancy faucets and toilet seats? Nothing is a standard size. If I was the owner, the mansion would lose its majesty. It wouldn't be long before many items would need fixing and the garden would look neglected. 
 
After praying in synagogue, Torah learning, personal prayer and spreading my Rebbe's teachings - how much time would be left for me to replace those weird looking bulbs overlooking my private ballroom or that cracked tile in the front hallway? If I stay where I live now, a cracked tile adds character to the old building; but in a mansion? ze past nisht! (it's really in poor taste!). It's a full-time job to own such a house.
 
Some of the most profoundly depressed people that I've treated as a psychotherapist were fabulously wealthy. Not only did their riches not help them, but their anxiety and depression was exacerbated by their wealth.
 
One of my patients was worth hundreds of millions of dollars. He used to pick up the phone and give away a million dollars on the spot to a good cause. I used to travel to his mansion because he was too frightened and depressed to ever leave it. Once my patient gave a million dollars to big Jewish organization that helps very sick children...Continue here.

With Blessings,

Dr. Zev Ballen

Ask Dr. Zev

By Dr. Zev Ballen

I confess that it was me who planned this lesson, but it was not me who delivered it - Hashem spoke through me and I hardly remember what I said. I couldn't do this again if I tried.

I am forever grateful to Hashem for the seminal teachings of my beloved Rebbe, Rabbi Shalom Arush. Based on Rabbi Arush's teachings, even a simple person can transcend his natural abilities by millions of light years. Now it's my gift to you - all I ask is that you share this with your friends.

 

Women's Study Group Forming

A new women's study group, led by Rachel Tzippora Avrahami, will be meeting on Mondays at 11:30AM in a central Jerusalem location. They are planning to start by learning The Garden of Emuna.

If you're interested you can contact Mrs. Avrahami. For more information call her at: 054-756-8830.  or email her at: emunagal@gmail.com. Her personal blog is http://emunagal.blogspot.com.

Blessings Always,

Dr. Zev Ballen