Emuna Therapy

You're a Star

In this week's video lesson I speak about a common sense way of avoiding costly mistakes and become the shining star that you were created to be. I hope you enjoy it!

With blessings,

Dr. Zev Ballen

 

Nonstriving

 

So much of our suffering in life comes from our fighting with and trying to control everything. Whether its our thoughts, our kids, or even reality itself; when  we just keep doggedly striving to make things turn out "right" , G-d usually has something else up His sleeve.

In today's broadcast I'll speak about how an attitude of acceptance and letting go leads to greater psychological and spiritual freedom as well as a more fulfilling and satisfying life. 

G-d Willing we'll be broadcasting today's lesson live from the Chut Shel Chesed Yeshiva in Jerusalem at 5:00 PM Israel time.

The broadcast, as well as my lessons posted are Mac and iPod compatible. If you tune in too early to the live broadcast link, you'll be sent to the main page of the Breslev Israel website, so try to tune in as follows:

7:00 AM in LA and the West Coast, 8:00 AM Denver, 9:00 AM Mexico and Central Daylight, 10 AM EDT, 3 PM in the UK, 5:00 PM Johannesburg and Capetown, 5:00 PM Israel. G-d willing, we'll try and post a link to the lesson for all those who couldn't see it live by 12:o1 AM Monday morning. If you can't see the broadcast, you might need to download a new version of Flash Media player, which you can do here.

With Blessings,

Dr. Zev Ballen

The Mirror

By Dr. Zev Ballen

I recieved this important letter recently:

Dr. Ballen,

You wrote: "Children will only accept guidance from parents who love them when they are 'failing'; who advocate for them when they are not 'succeeding'; who protect them from dishonor and self-doubt; and who accept upon themselves the full responsibility of being a parent."

With ALL respect - who told you that? I have done ALL OF THE ABOVE ... and much more .....and your formula simply doesn't work .
 
Children today don't accept guidance because the secular education and the decayed society they live in tell them not to. We mothers have also been subjected to Rabbis who scream at us to "take your nose out of your children's marriage." What do they want us to do -  passively watch our children playing emotional suicide? Those Rabbis empower children to push their parents our of the picture.
 
The children of today don't accept guidance because they are a rebellious and arrogant generation; and to accept advice from their parents is to validate their council - which is supposed to be discarded.
 
Today's children don't worry about being dishonored by their parents - they lack the necessary shame. 
 
You and I belong to a previous generation where honor, respect, guidance, love and care were part of our educational package - and we responded to that!
 
Dr. Ballen, I would appreciate you're reconsidering your statement unless you can show me where can I find those words in the Holy Torah! 
 
Have a blessed Shabbat,
Devorah 
 
* * * 
 
Devorah,
 
It takes enormous patience and wisdom to be a parent. That's why King Solomon, the wisest man to ever live warns us: "...do not rely on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5) Who amongst us can possibly grasp with his own intelligence, the wisdom that one needs to be a parent in this generation without the help of a tzaddick. 
 
Devorah, you can be sure that nothing that I write about parenting is from my own intelligence or 'formula'. Whatever little I 'know' about

parenting I know is correct because I received it from my beloved teacher Rabbi Shalom Arush, who received it from his teacher Rabbi Eliezer Berland who received it from his teacher Rabbi Levi Yitzchok Bender who received it from his teacher Rabbi Abraham Chazan who received it from his father, who was the closest disciple of Rebbi Nasan of Breslev who received it from Rebbe Nachman of Breslev himself -  Rabbi Nachman was the grandson of the Baal Shem Tov. 
 
Anyone who thinks that he knows something about parenting that Rebbe Nachman, the Baal Shem Tov and our  Sages didn't know - stop right here. 
 
The Sages won't be insulted. 
 
Devorah,  It's written "...reverence for your teacher should be as your reverence for Heaven. (Pirkei Avos, 4:15)  I don't need Torah sources to teach me about my obligation to honor my kids - it's enough for me that this teaching was faithfully transmitted through the generations to my Rebbi, Rabbi Shalom Arush, through the spiritual giants that I've mentioned.
 
Nevertheless, you asked for sources, so let's get started: 
   
Devorah,  the Mishna says: "Who is honored? He who honors others..." ( Pirkei Avos, 4:2).  Yes it's true that children have the commandment to honor their parents - but it's  impossible for them to honor their parents if their parents don't first honor them in a deep consistent way for many years - even when they don't act like angels.
 
The holy sage, Abarbanel  tells us precisely that children will not be able to return the love and respect to their parents that they never received in the first place. He said:  "Man can give only what he possesses; only an honorable person can accord honor to others." The opposite is also true. If children are dishonorable towards their parents it is a clear sign that their parents either did not invest enough warmth and time in them, or failed to shield them from harm. In more than 30 years of practice, I have never seen an exception to the teaching of our Sages. Continue here... 

With Blessings,

Dr. Zev Ballen

Live Broadcast Today: Why Murder?

By Dr. Zev Ballen

We live in a generation of senseless hatred and violence. With Tisha B'Av coming in just three days, join me for a discussion of the causes and the solution to our current dilemma, according to the holy teachings of my beloved Rebbe and spiritual guide, Rabbi Shalom Arush. 

With Hashem's Loving Kindness, we will be broadcasting live today, Wednesday at 5:00pm Israel time from the Chut Shel Chesed Yeshiva, 13 Shmuel Hanavi Street, Jerusalem.

 You can see it right here. The broadcast, as well as our lessons posted from now on - are Mac and iPod compatible. If you tune in too early to the live broadcast link, you'll be sent to the main page of the Breslev Israel website, so try to tune in on time as follows:

10:AM in NY, 7:00 AM in LA and the West Coast, 8:00 AM Denver, 9:00 AM in Mexico and Central Daylight, 3:00 PM in the UK, and 5:00 PM Israel time. If you are not able to watch the lesson live, we will, G-d willing be posting a link to it soon. If you can't see the broadcast, you might need to download a new version of Flash Media player which you can do here. We hope you enjoy the broadcast.

Wishing You Blessings Always,

Dr. Zev Ballen

 

 

 

Live Broadcast Today

How do you make important decisions? Do you ever worry before or after making decisions? Do you feel depleted from the stress and pressure of not knowing what to do? If you answered "yes" to even one of these questions, today's lesson is for you - it's called The Best Advice. You can see it right here.

With Hashem's Loving Mercy, we will be broadcasting live today, Wednesday at 5:00pm Israel time from the Chut Shel Chessed Yeshiva, 13 Shmuel Hanavi Street, Jerusalem. The broadcast, as well as our lessons posted from now on - are Mac and iPod compatible. If you tune in too early to the live broadcast link, you'll be sent to the main page of the Breslev Israel website, so try to tune in on time as follows:

10:AM in NY, 7:00 AM in LA and the West Coast, 8:00 AM Denver, 9:00 AM in Mexico and Central Daylight, 3:00 PM in the UK, and 5:00 PM Israel time. If you are not able to watch the lesson live, we will, G-d willing be posting a link to it soon. If you can't see the broadcast, you might need to download a new version of Flash Media player which you can do here. We hope you enjoy the broadcast.

Wishing You Blessings Always,

Dr. Zev Ballen

 

Take This Key

By Dr. Zev Ballen

Rachel's son, Mark, was unable to support himself and his wife while he was studying for Rabbinical ordination. They moved in with Rachel and her husband. Rachel responded outwardly with chesed (kindness). She shopped and cooked and cleaned for the young couple. She cleaned their dirty dishes. She did their laundry and picked up after them. Rachel even paid their bills and made sure that they had money in their pockets. This continued for several years.

Having consumed all of the books and CD's of Rabbi Arush, Rachel never once uttered a word of criticism or rebuke to her guests. Finally they had one fight. The couple moved out and it has been years since Rachel has spoken with them.

Rachel was still refusing to speak with her son when she sought my "help". She wanted someone to listen to her anger and pain but she refused to work on herself. She would only speak about "them." She felt justified in her anger and hoped that I would accept her right to stay angry. She ceremonially exempted herself from the fulfillment of her primary purpose in this world which is to get along with other people. The problem was not that Rachel lacked kindness and generosity. She had more of these qualities than most people. The problem was that she had not been honest. She had not been willing to admit that it is wrong to harbor resentments toward her son and his wife. Yes, Rachel "acted" like a perfect saint. She never once made a complaint or criticism of her guests. Internally, however, Rachel judged them to be lazy. She felt superior to them. She felt entitled to be honored by them and secretly wanted to control them. Rachel wanted them to seek her advice. Inwardly, Rachel was furious at her son though she never made a peep. You can see the whole article right here.

Wishing you Blessings Always,

Dr. Zev Ballen