Emuna Therapy

The Teenage 'Wall'

The Teenage Wall
 
If 'grown ups' grow by kicking against obstacles, the same certainly holds true of teenagers. Adolescents need us, their parents, to be their 'wall', that they can bounce off - and any type of wall is better than no 'wall' at all. When the parents give up, and let their kid do whatever they want, because 'he's beyond help', that's when the kid is going to go even crazier. We parents have to stand firm, and be the wall of defense that surrounds the child and the home. We have to set appropriate limits for our children, but we have to enforce them with kindness. We must have rules, but we need to implement them without anger, viciousness, or taking revenge on our children.
 
G-d knows that the nature of man is to want to avenge even the smallest dints to his pride. That's why there are all those passages talking about 'an eye for an eye', or, 'a tooth for a tooth'. Taking revenge is human nature. Why? Because G-d made us that way. Why? Because He wants us to grow and beat out of ourselves all these animal characteristics, and to make a real decision to have a spiritual life.
 
As a parent, we will face countless challenges to our pride and our authority as our children grow up. We'll have umpteen opportunities, every single day, to choose to grow, spiritually, or to impose our will on our children with threats, anger and 'punishments'. Once we start choosing to live a spiritual life, we won't argue or fight with anyone, any more. Even if we're right (and as parents, aren't we always 'right'?) - we're still going to back down, and we're going to send a very clear signal to our children that we are willing to go the distance for them, to be a good person, and parent in the G-d-centric way that G-d really wants.

The moment of death

I've been with a lot of people in the minutes and hours before they were about to pass away. It's amazing to see the radical personality changes that can happen with a terminally-ill person who knows they are about to die.
 
This insight into our final moments on earth was one of the biggest gifts of my life, because people who are about to pass on to the next world don't fake it. All of a sudden, they have clarity about what's really important in life. And it's not money; it's not their degrees; it's not the honor that other people give them. What It boils down to is simply how much love they received, how much love they gave, and the quality of their relationships with their friends and relatives.
 
Please G-d, we'll all be around until 120 years old, but we don't have to wait until those final moments to start making a thorough accounting of our own 'relationship equations', starting with our families. Click here for the conclusion...

Remember, blessed friends, 

Live strong, live with emuna!

Dr. Zev Ballen

Here's more great reading:

The Cow Comes, the Cow Goes - By Rabbi Shalom Arush

The Marital Sandtrap - By Rabbi Lazer Brody

A Search for Identity - By Rivka Levy

Blessing the Beautiful - By Rabbi Lazer Brody

The First Haircut - By Tal Rotem

A Walking Billboard - By Racheli Reckles

The Dollar on the Wall - Rabbi David Charlop

Power Parenting

 

Why not get the most out of the days you are spending with your family over Passover?  This  popular video, that we made in December, will do the trick. Even if you've seen it, it's worth a second look!

With blessings,

Dr. Zev Ballen

New 'Ultimate Marriage' Program in Full Swing

photo by Digital Fly

 

Ultimate Marriage
A Six-Week Emuna Coaching Program
By Rabbi Dr. Zev Ballen

 

The purpose of marriage
 
A peaceful loving marriage is life's most precious commodity. It's the only blessing that insures G-d's other blessings such as peace, happiness, spiritual growth, abundant income, good health, fertility, healthy children, and more!
 
Why does marital peace rank first in serving G-d?
 
Because it is the primary receptacle of Divine Illumination and blessing for your life! The more  blissful and fulfilling a marriage you have, the more you'll feel G-d's  presence filling your home.
 
The expression that a man and his wife are one soul is not some simple platitude that sounds nice to the ear - it is a spiritual reality and the blueprint for the Ultimate Marriage coaching program.
 
How to succeed
 
With Ultimate Marriage you'll see extraordinary success because of our uncompromising  adherence to the teachings of master coach and spiritual guide, Rabbi Shalom Arush; whose track record as a marital coach is nothing less than phenomenal.
 
Over the past four decades, Rabbi Arush has personally helped tens of thousands of people to discover their own personal formula for marital bliss.  Millions more people have found comfort and inspiration in the books of Rabbi Arush.  His every word resonates with consummate wisdom and truth  and bring a person closer to G-d.
 
How has Rabbi Shalom Arush successfully diagnosed the root spiritual ills of today's marriages and prescribed remedies that work when psychological science has not?

Simple.

Rabbi Arush's teachings are firmly girded in the perfect wisdom of Talmudic and Jewish esoteric thought. His teachings are crystal clear yet full of deep inner secrets that fill couples with a longing for each other and G-d.

We don't know of a couple, who has earnestly implemented Rabbi Arush's advice ,who have not seen a major subsequent improvement in their marital harmony and bliss.  There isn't a counselor or psychotherapist alive who can rival Rabbi Arush. His phenomenal record of success is simply incomparable. 

How it started

It startedwhen Rabbi Arush appointed his devoted student, Rabbi Dr. Zev Ballen, the mission of developing a marital enrichment program based on his teachings. Before he committed his life to learning Torah and spreading the teachings of Rabbi Arush throughout the world, Dr. Ballen was a psychotherapist with more than three decades of experience. Drawing from his deep well of clinical experience and his spiritual training under Rabbi Arush, Dr. Zev Ballen has created a bold and innovative approach to coaching couples. Ultimate Marriage works quickly by motivating, elevating and  transforming couples to levels of connectedness and fulfillment that they never knew before.

How it works
 
First you'll be empowered to believe in yourself and your marriage. Next you'll be helped to break through whatever has been blocking you from creating the extraordinary marriage that you've always wanted. Then you'll develop a passionate vision of what you want your marriage to become. And finally we'll provide you with the spiritual tools and strategies that are helping so many others.  We'll give you all of the support, follow-up and accountability that you'll need to succeed. Before long you'll be feeling more confident, more joyful, more productive and more in love than you've ever felt before. Your marital bond will become a deep well from which you'll draw inner strength and conviction, mental composure, and a zest for life that you'll share together for many years to come.

What are people saying about Ultimate Marriage?

Couple One: Saved from divorce
 
"I can't believe that this was all we had to do! It worked so fast! We were about to get divorced. What a tragedy that would have been. I'm embarrassed to say how simple it was for us to fall in love again!During the session, I literally felt something being lifted off me. I haven't been the same person since that day. Now my love for my wife knows no bounds. There isn't anything that I wouldn't do for her.  I owe this program my life!"
 
Couple Two: 'Our children are the greatest beneficiaries'
 
"For the first time, in our marriage, my husband and I are a team. Of course the greatest beneficiaries of this are our children. They see that we're so madly in love that they are also treating each other with more love and kindness. This, in turn, has brought indescribable happiness into the whole family. On Chanukah, after candle-lighting our whole family was lit up like a ball of fire sent from Heaven. We are so grateful to you and Rabbi Arush. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!"
 
Couple three: Floating on air
 
"We left your office floating on air. That one session was enough to show  me that my husband is the real deal, and that I don't have to worry about him 'pretending' to love me anymore; and it also reassured my husband that I am together with him 100%. Obviously Hashem is helping you in your work. May you continue to see great success and be blessed to help many more people."
 
Couple four: Tired of being roommates
 
"My wife and I came to you because we were tired of being "good roommates." As strange as it sounds, the problem was that never in our marriage did either of us feel love for each other. We didn't even know what love was. As miraculous as it sounds, in our first session, I felt I was given a brand new soul. I haven't been the same since and neither has my marriage. My wife and I still have our ups and downs but it's completely different now because we feel such a powerful incredible love for each other that we never had before. I would never have believed this was possible if I hadn't experienced it myself. G-d bless you and Rabbi Arush!"
  
Miraculous transformations
 
These  4 case studies involved four very different types of couples, who had very different circumstances. But in each instance, I was privileged to witness them breakthrough and lift their marriages to a higher level. And these changes all happened literally within a few minutes, or an hour or two. The pace of change that I'm seeing with our Ultimate Marriage program is the fastest I've seen in more than three decades as a psychotherapist.

Program structure

The program works best when both partners are coached together although it's possible for men and women to be coached separately, or, in some cases, for only one partner to receive coaching. The program is flexible in this respect. 
There are a total of 6  coaching sessions. Each session is 1.5 hours in length. The sessions can take place either personally in Israel, over Skype or on the phone.

Program materials

• A pdf copy of our beautifully illustrated workbook (separate workbooks for men and women) immediately upon enrollment
• Books by Rabbi Shalom Arush:  Women's Wisdom (for women) and the Garden of Peace(for men)
• English CD's of Rabbi Arush's teachings that reinforce each week's themes and topics
• 18 Ultimate Marriage Tools
• Progress rating scales
• Individualized Personal Prayer Coaching
• Discussion of weekly readings
• Helpful questionnaires and lists
• Specific measurable Goals for each session and week
• Support, feedback, and close personal involvement with your coach
• Step-by-outline
• Prescribed morning and evening rituals
• Special prayers written by Rabbi Arush
• Spiritual Meditations
• Strength-based solution-focused approach
• Guided visualization
• Rapid Relaxation training

Program costs

$995
 

Rabbi Lazer Brody's Endorsement

With Hashem's loving grace, it's my pleasure and privilege to give my wholehearted endorsement to Dr. Zev Ballen and his revolutionary "Ultimate Marriage" coaching program. Any person who participates in this program, which is solidly based on traditional Jewish teachings, will certainly see enhanced marital bliss and blessings, both material and spiritual. A happy marriage is tantamount to a personal redemption, and the more people attain their personal redemption, the sooner we'll see our national redemption and the coming of Moshiach, speedily in our days, amen!

For more information about the Ultimate Marriage Program please call 1-718-577-2975 (or from Israel 02-532-3339), or email staff@breslev.co.il. Thank you.

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Remember Today's Live Broadcast 

G-d Willing we'll be broadcasting today's lesson live from the Chut Shel Chesed Yeshiva in Jerusalem at 5:00 PM Israel time. The broadcast, as well as my lessons posted are Mac and iPod compatible. If you tune in too early to the live broadcast link, you'll be sent to the main page of the Breslev Israel website.

G-d willing, we'll try and post a link to the lesson for all those who couldn't see it live by 12:o1 AM Monday (Israel time).

Every blessing,

Dr. Zev Ballen

Childhood Trauma

photo by the bop

Research has shown that there's a strong connection between severe childhood trauma and the development of psychosis later on.

Are children who are being raised by parents who live in accordance with emuna principles  less likely to become psychotic? 

Yes they are.

Even more so, adverse or traumatic events during childhood can predispose children who were raised with emuna to even greater levels of emotional and spiritual development than their peers.

How is this so?

There are many examples from the Torah of children who grew up under circumstances that would be considered traumatic by today's standards and they rose to incredible spiritual heights,  for example King David and Rabbi Akiva.

G-d willing, I'll be speaking about this subject in much greater depth tomorrow, in my live broadcast.  The simple explanation for now is that Divine Providence looks upon every soul and knows exactly what it needs to be maximally happy and to fulfill it's purpose in the world.

If, G-d forbid, a traumatic event does take place in childhood, it offers the child of parents who have faith the opportunity to turn to Hashem with their pain, and in so doing Hashem will lead them to find their true purpose in this world. Since fulfilling their true purpose is the only way that they can live lives of true happiness, these kids can end up better off than their peers who never find themselves.

Today, the first day of the month of Nissan (the month of miracles) is Rebbe Nachman's birthday and the first day that we can make a blessing on the trees. To learn about the amazing connection between these two events read this!

With blessings,

Dr. Zev Ballen

 

 

Stay in the Game

When people genuinely feel that the other person would go the distance for them - whatever it takes - the conflict completely goes away, and all of a sudden, compromises can happen so easily. I've seen people completely reverse "firm" opinions that they hadn't budged on an iota, in a few seconds. See more here...

Fatherly Love and Purim

Here's a heartwarming clip, just in time for Purim, about a father and son who were worlds apart for twenty years. Hear how they breakthrough their differences and developed a relationship of openness, love and trust.

This message of togetherness is the essense of the holiday of Purim.  I heard the following from Rav Dovid Ostroff. The S'fas Emes says that when B'nei Yisroel (the Jewish people) are united, Amalek (Haman) does not have a hold on them. It is when they are separated and don't have unity, that the enemy can attack them. Haman told Achashveirosh to wipe out the Jewish nation, to which he replied that he cannot, as all nations that attempted to do so were wiped from the face of the earth. Haman countered that the Jews were not unified. 

So Mordechai said to gather them, make unity amongst the Jews, and they became unified because Mordechai showed great love for them even though they partied with Achashveirosh and bowed down to idols (which he had warned them not to do). 

Our unity is our strength, and the removal of our arrogance, which puts walls between us is our main task. 

When the Jewish people saw how much Hashem loved them during their time of strife and despite their not behaving themselves they accepted the Torah with a total love that they didn't have when they "received it" on mount sinai out of fear.

We only know someones true love for us when we see them demonstrate it in hard circumstances.

It will be our total and love and acceptance of each other that will make the future ge'ulah (redemption) so magnificent that it will dwarf the nissim (miracles) of yetsias mitzrayim (the coming out of Egypt). May we see it soon!

Dr. Zev Ballen

By the way, if you'd like to be friends on facebook, don't be shy. You can connect to me right here!

And, there's more! If you want to see the best Shabbos and Purim newsletter around, you can get your copy right here:  Download CSC NL Week 20 Tetzaveh.

 

 

How Love Grows

What are the events, factors, and turning points in marriage that cause love to increase over the years, and what unfortunately causes the opposite to happen? With the US divorce rate climbing to almost 60%, marital experts are finally studying marriages based on traditional values rather than those based on romantic love; and the researching findings are simply amazing! This is a critically important video. Please share it if you can.

Bye the way, if you'd like to be friends on facebook don't be shy. All you've got to do is request it here!

Have a week of blessing and success!

Dr. Zev Ballen

 

Live Broadcast Today - How Love Grows

    

 

Photo by ♥ Minnie | Photography ♥

With the US divorce rate climbing to almost 60%, marital experts are suggesting that we consider the reasons why marriages based on more traditional values are doing so much better. What do 22 marriages where love has grown have in common despite being from nine countries and five religions? You'll be amazed at the answer!

G-d Willing we'll be broadcasting today's lesson live from the Chut Shel Chesed Yeshiva in Jerusalem at 5:00 PM Israel time.

The broadcast, as well as my lessons posted are Mac and iPod compatible. If you tune in too early to the live broadcast link, you'll be sent to the main page of the Breslev Israel website, so try to tune in as follows:

7:00 AM in LA and the West Coast, 8:00 AM Denver, 9:00 AM Mexico and Central Daylight, 10 AM EDT, 3 PM in the UK, 5:00 PM Johannesburg and Capetown, 5:00 PM Israel. G-d willing, we'll try and post a link to the lesson for all those who couldn't see it live by 12:o1 AM Monday morning. If you can't see the broadcast, you might need to download a new version of Flash Media player, which you can do here.

With Blessings,

Dr. Zev Ballen

No Secrets

Why keep your personal "deficits" a secret -  there's nothing to feel embarrassed about - they are your greatest assets! It's the subject of this week's video lesson and my gift to you!

Wishing you a great week!

Dr. Zev Ballen

 

Children's Prayers

This is a precious video, courtesy of Breslev Israel. We should emulate the simple honesty of the prayers of these children!