If 'grown ups' grow by
kicking against obstacles, the same certainly holds true of teenagers.
Adolescents need us, their parents, to be their 'wall', that they can
bounce off - and any type of wall is better than no 'wall' at all. When
the parents give up, and let their kid do whatever they want, because
'he's beyond help', that's when the kid is going to go even crazier. We
parents have to stand firm, and be the wall of defense that surrounds
the child and the home. We have to set appropriate limits for our
children, but we have to enforce them with kindness. We must have rules,
but we need to implement them without anger, viciousness, or taking
revenge on our children.
G-d knows that the nature
of man is to want to avenge even the smallest dints to his pride. That's
why there are all those passages talking about 'an eye for an eye', or,
'a tooth for a tooth'. Taking revenge is human nature. Why? Because G-d
made us that way. Why? Because He wants us to grow and beat out of
ourselves all these animal characteristics, and to make a real decision to have a spiritual life.
As a parent, we will face
countless challenges to our pride and our authority as our children grow
up. We'll have umpteen opportunities, every single day, to choose to
grow, spiritually, or to impose our will on our children with threats,
anger and 'punishments'. Once we start choosing to live a spiritual
life, we won't argue or fight with anyone, any more. Even if we're right
(and as parents, aren't we always 'right'?) - we're still going to back
down, and we're going to send a very clear signal to our children that
we are willing to go the distance for them, to be a good person, and
parent in the G-d-centric way that G-d really wants.
The moment of death
been with a lot of people in the minutes and hours before they were
about to pass away. It's amazing to see the radical personality changes
that can happen with a terminally-ill person who knows they are about to
This insight into our final
moments on earth was one of the biggest gifts of my life, because
people who are about to pass on to the next world don't fake it. All of a
sudden, they have clarity about what's really important in life. And
it's not money; it's not their degrees; it's not the honor that other
people give them. What It boils down to is simply how much love they
received, how much love they gave, and the quality of their
relationships with their friends and relatives.
Please G-d, we'll all be
around until 120 years old, but we don't have to wait until those final
moments to start making a thorough accounting of our own 'relationship
equations', starting with our families. Click here for the conclusion...
Ultimate Marriage A Six-Week Emuna Coaching Program By Rabbi Dr. Zev Ballen
The purpose of marriage
peaceful loving marriage is life's most precious commodity. It's the
only blessing that insures G-d's other blessings such as peace,
happiness, spiritual growth, abundant income, good health, fertility,
healthy children, and more!
Why does marital peace rank first in serving G-d?
it is the primary receptacle of Divine Illumination and blessing for
your life! The more blissful and fulfilling a marriage you have, the
more you'll feel G-d's presence filling your home.
expression that a man and his wife are one soul is not some simple
platitude that sounds nice to the ear - it is a spiritual reality and
the blueprint for the Ultimate Marriage coaching program.
How to succeed
Ultimate Marriage you'll see extraordinary success because of our
uncompromising adherence to the teachings of master coach and spiritual
guide, Rabbi Shalom Arush; whose track record as a marital coach is
nothing less than phenomenal.
the past four decades, Rabbi Arush has personally helped tens of
thousands of people to discover their own personal formula for marital
bliss. Millions more people have found comfort and inspiration in the
books of Rabbi Arush. His every word resonates with consummate wisdom
and truth and bring a person closer to G-d.
has Rabbi Shalom Arush successfully diagnosed the root spiritual ills
of today's marriages and prescribed remedies that work when
psychological science has not?
Rabbi Arush's teachings are firmly girded in the perfect wisdom of
Talmudic and Jewish esoteric thought. His teachings are crystal clear
yet full of deep inner secrets that fill couples with a longing for each
other and G-d.
don't know of a couple, who has earnestly implemented Rabbi Arush's
advice ,who have not seen a major subsequent improvement in their
marital harmony and bliss. There isn't a counselor or psychotherapist
alive who can rival Rabbi Arush. His phenomenal record of success is
How it started
Rabbi Arush appointed his devoted student, Rabbi Dr. Zev Ballen, the
mission of developing a marital enrichment program based on his
teachings. Before he committed his life to learning Torah and spreading
the teachings of Rabbi Arush throughout the world, Dr. Ballen was a
psychotherapist with more than three decades of experience. Drawing from
his deep well of clinical experience and his spiritual training under
Rabbi Arush, Dr. Zev Ballen has created a bold and innovative approach
to coaching couples. Ultimate Marriage works quickly by motivating,
elevating and transforming couples to levels of connectedness and
fulfillment that they never knew before.
How it works
you'll be empowered to believe in yourself and your marriage. Next
you'll be helped to break through whatever has been blocking you from
creating the extraordinary marriage that you've always wanted. Then
you'll develop a passionate vision of what you want your marriage to
become. And finally we'll provide you with the spiritual tools and
strategies that are helping so many others. We'll give you all of the
support, follow-up and accountability that you'll need to succeed.
Before long you'll be feeling more confident, more joyful, more
productive and more in love than you've ever felt before. Your marital
bond will become a deep well from which you'll draw inner strength and
conviction, mental composure, and a zest for life that you'll share
together for many years to come.
What are people saying about Ultimate Marriage?
Couple One: Saved from divorce
can't believe that this was all we had to do! It worked so fast! We
were about to get divorced. What a tragedy that would have been. I'm
embarrassed to say how simple it was for us to fall in love again!During
the session, I literally felt something being lifted off me. I haven't
been the same person since that day. Now my love for my wife knows no
bounds. There isn't anything that I wouldn't do for her. I owe this
program my life!"
Couple Two: 'Our children are the greatest beneficiaries'
the first time, in our marriage, my husband and I are a team. Of course
the greatest beneficiaries of this are our children. They see that
we're so madly in love that they are also treating each other with more
love and kindness. This, in turn, has brought indescribable happiness
into the whole family. On Chanukah, after candle-lighting our whole
family was lit up like a ball of fire sent from Heaven. We are so
grateful to you and Rabbi Arush. Thank you from the bottom of our
Couple three: Floating on air
left your office floating on air. That one session was enough to show
me that my husband is the real deal, and that I don't have to worry
about him 'pretending' to love me anymore; and it also reassured my
husband that I am together with him 100%. Obviously Hashem is helping
you in your work. May you continue to see great success and be blessed
to help many more people."
Couple four: Tired of being roommates
wife and I came to you because we were tired of being "good roommates."
As strange as it sounds, the problem was that never in our marriage did
either of us feel love for each other. We didn't even know what love
was. As miraculous as it sounds, in our first session, I felt I was
given a brand new soul. I haven't been the same since and neither has my
marriage. My wife and I still have our ups and downs but it's
completely different now because we feel such a powerful incredible love
for each other that we never had before. I would never have believed
this was possible if I hadn't experienced it myself. G-d bless you and
4 case studies involved four very different types of couples, who had
very different circumstances. But in each instance, I was privileged to
witness them breakthrough and lift their marriages to a higher level.
And these changes all happened literally within a few minutes, or an
hour or two. The pace of change that I'm seeing with our Ultimate
Marriage program is the fastest I've seen in more than three decades as a
program works best when both partners are coached together although
it's possible for men and women to be coached separately, or, in some
cases, for only one partner to receive coaching. The program is flexible
in this respect.
are a total of 6 coaching sessions. Each session is 1.5 hours in
length. The sessions can take place either personally in Israel, over
Skype or on the phone.
A pdf copy of our beautifully illustrated workbook (separate workbooks for men and women) immediately upon enrollment
Books by Rabbi Shalom Arush: Women's Wisdom (for women) and the Garden of Peace(for men)
English CD's of Rabbi Arush's teachings that reinforce each week's themes and topics
18 Ultimate Marriage Tools
Progress rating scales
Individualized Personal Prayer Coaching
Discussion of weekly readings
Helpful questionnaires and lists
Specific measurable Goals for each session and week
Support, feedback, and close personal involvement with your coach
Prescribed morning and evening rituals
Special prayers written by Rabbi Arush
Strength-based solution-focused approach
Rapid Relaxation training
Rabbi Lazer Brody's Endorsement
Hashem's loving grace, it's my pleasure and privilege to give my
wholehearted endorsement to Dr. Zev Ballen and his revolutionary
"Ultimate Marriage" coaching program. Any person who participates in
this program, which is solidly based on traditional Jewish teachings,
will certainly see enhanced marital bliss and blessings, both material
and spiritual. A happy marriage is tantamount to a personal redemption,
and the more people attain their personal redemption, the sooner we'll
see our national redemption and the coming of Moshiach, speedily in our
For more information about the Ultimate Marriage Program please call 1-718-577-2975 (or from Israel 02-532-3339), or email email@example.com. Thank you.
G-d Willing we'll be broadcasting
today's lesson live from the Chut Shel Chesed Yeshiva in Jerusalem at
5:00 PM Israel time.
The broadcast, as well as my lessons posted are Mac and iPod compatible.
If you tune in too early to the live broadcast link, you'll be sent to
the main page of the Breslev Israel website.
G-d willing, we'll try and post a link to the
lesson for all those who couldn't see it live by 12:o1 AM Monday (Israel
Research has shown that there's a strong connection between severe childhood trauma and the development of psychosis later on.
Are children who are being raised by parents who live in accordance with emuna principles less likely to become psychotic?
Yes they are.
Even more so, adverse or traumatic events during childhood can predispose children who were raised with emuna to even greater levels of emotional and spiritual development than their peers.
How is this so?
There are many examples from the Torah of children who grew up under
circumstances that would be considered traumatic by today's standards
and they rose to incredible spiritual heights, for example King David
and Rabbi Akiva.
willing, I'll be speaking about this subject in much greater depth
tomorrow, in my live broadcast. The simple explanation for now is that
Divine Providence looks upon every soul and knows exactly what it needs
to be maximally happy and to fulfill it's purpose in the world.
If, G-d forbid, a traumatic event does take place in childhood, it offers the child of parents who have faith the opportunity to turn to Hashem with their pain, and in so doing Hashem
will lead them to find their true purpose in this world. Since
fulfilling their true purpose is the only way that they can live lives
of true happiness, these kids can end up better off than their peers who
never find themselves.
Today, the first day of the month of Nissan (the month of miracles) is Rebbe Nachman's birthday and the first day that we can make a blessing on the trees. To learn about the amazing connection between these two events read this!
When people genuinely feel that the other person would go the distance for them - whatever it takes - the conflict completely goes away, and all of a sudden, compromises can happen so easily. I've seen people completely reverse "firm" opinions that they hadn't budged on an iota, in a few seconds. See more here...
Here's a heartwarming clip, just in time for Purim, about a father and son who were worlds apart for twenty years. Hear how they breakthrough their differences and developed a relationship of openness, love and trust.
This message of togetherness is the essense of the holiday of Purim. I heard the following from Rav Dovid Ostroff. The S'fas Emes says that when B'nei Yisroel (the Jewish people) are united, Amalek (Haman) does not have a hold on them. It is when they are separated and don't have unity, that the enemy can attack them. Haman told Achashveirosh to wipe out the Jewish nation, to which he replied that he cannot, as all nations that attempted to do so were wiped from the face of the earth. Haman countered that the Jews were not unified.
So Mordechai said to gather them, make unity amongst the Jews, and they became unified because Mordechai showed great love for them even though they partied with Achashveirosh and bowed down to idols (which he had warned them not to do).
Our unity is our strength, and the removal of our arrogance, which puts walls between us is our main task.
When the Jewish people saw how much Hashem loved them during their time of strife and despite their not behaving themselves they accepted the Torah with a total love that they didn't have when they "received it" on mount sinai out of fear.
We only know someones true love for us when we see them demonstrate it in hard circumstances.
It will be our total and love and acceptance of each other that will make the future ge'ulah (redemption) so magnificent that it will dwarf the nissim (miracles) of yetsias mitzrayim (the coming out of Egypt). May we see it soon!
Dr. Zev Ballen
By the way, if you'd like to be friends on facebook, don't be shy. You can connect to meright here!
What are the events, factors, and turning points in marriage that cause love to increase over the years, and what unfortunately causes the opposite to happen? With the US divorce rate climbing to almost 60%, marital experts are finally studying marriages based on traditional values rather than those based on romantic love; and the researching findings are simply amazing! This is a critically important video. Please share it if you can.
Bye the way, if you'd like to be friends on facebook don't be shy. All you've got to do is request it here!
With the US divorce rate climbing to almost 60%, marital experts are suggesting that we consider the reasons why marriages based on more traditional values are doing so much better. What do 22 marriages where love has grown have in common despite being from nine countries and five religions? You'll be amazed at the answer!
G-d Willing we'll be broadcasting today's lesson live from the Chut Shel Chesed Yeshiva in Jerusalem at 5:00 PM Israel time.
The broadcast, as well as my lessons posted are Mac and iPod compatible. If you tune in too early to the live broadcast link, you'll be sent to the main page of the Breslev Israel website, so try to tune in as follows:
7:00 AM in LA and the West Coast, 8:00 AM Denver, 9:00 AM Mexico and Central Daylight, 10 AM EDT, 3 PM in the UK, 5:00 PM Johannesburg and Capetown, 5:00 PM Israel. G-d willing, we'll try and post a link to the lesson for all those who couldn't see it live by 12:o1 AM Monday morning. If you can't see the broadcast, you might need to download a new version of Flash Media player, which you can do here.