Emuna Therapy

Live Broadcast: Living With Passion

 

By Dr. Zev Ballen                                                            Image credit: CarlosBravo

With Hashem's Loving Kindness, we will be broadcasting live today, Wednesday at 5:00pm Israel time from the Chut Shel Chesed Yeshiva, 13 Shmuel Hanavi Street, Jerusalem in the main Sanctuary.  Everyone is welcome, both men and women.

This week's lesson is entitled, "Living With Passion" as always, it is open to the public - both men and women are welcome.

 You can see it right here. The broadcast, as well as our lessons posted from now on - are Mac and iPod compatible. If you tune in too early to the live broadcast link, you'll be sent to the main page of the Breslev Israel website, so try to tune in on time as follows:

10:AM in NY, 7:00 AM in LA and the West Coast, 8:00 AM Denver, 9:00 AM in Mexico and Central Daylight, 3:00 PM in the UK, and 5:00 PM Israel time. If you are not able to watch the lesson live, we will, G-d willing be posting a link to it soon. If you can't see the broadcast, you might need to download a new version of Flash Media player which you can do here. We hope you enjoy the broadcast.

Wishing You Blessings Always,

Dr. Zev Ballen

 

 

 

 

 

The 'Science' of Parenting

Science is based on observing what might be a cause and effect relationship; then testing the reliability and validity of the supposed cause and effect relationship; and finally drawing conclusions from what was tested to determine 'the truth.'  

Behavioral science has led us to believe that when a child misbehaves if we respond to that behavior with love that it will cause the misbehavior to be reinforced and thereby repeated.

According to this way of thinking, if a child comes home with a 'bad' report card, or a mother recieves a threatening phone call from her daughter's teacher, or a child loses control of himself and hits his brother -  hugging the child at such a time will reinforce the undesirable behavior. 

A parent who believes this has been brainwashed by science.

Since behavioral scientists derive their conclusions based only on what they can observe, their advice to parents is useless. The scientists don't bother themselves with thinking about the child's soul. Since they cannot observe a child's soul, they dismiss it completely -  for research purposes a child's soul and Hashem's Wisdom are irrelevant. Since the scientists don't believe in anything except that which their fallible human eyes can percieve, their 'conclusions' are the lowest and most primitive way of knowing anything about children.

A person with emuna sets his gaze much higher than the scientists can see with their limited powers of observation. A person of Faith asks himself, "how could it be that Hashem is limited to 'A' causes 'B' 62% of the time."  The person of Faith  knows that there is nothing sacred about correlational research. He knows that anything is possible in Hashem's world; and in fact there is no correlation between A and B at all unless Hashem wants there to be. There is no set connection between one moment and the next or even between one day and another. Hashem is creating the world new every moment.

The foundation of emuna is to believe that we can always start again anew. That the One and only Cause of all things is Hashem.  A foundation principle of our belief is that 'Only He did, does and will do all things." 

The next time that your child has a 'failure'  help him start again by showering him with hugs and kisses.  When your child 'falls' is the very best time to step in and protect his honor and feelings of self-worth. Hashem will take care of the rest. 

Here is this weeks Newsletter / Parsha Sheet: Download CSC NL Week 28 Korach. I hope you enjoy it. Have a wonderful family Shabbos!

With Blessings,

Dr. Zev Ballen

Live Broadcast: Trusting Yourself

With Hashem's Loving Kindness, we will be broadcasting live today, Wednesday at 5:00pm Israel time from the Chut Shel Chessed Yeshiva, 13 Shmuel Hanavi Street, Jerusalem. You can see it right here. The broadcast, as well as our lessons posted from now on - are Mac and iPod compatible. If you tune in too early to the live broadcast link, you'll be sent to the main page of the Breslev Israel website, so try to tune in on time as follows:

10:AM in NY, 7:00 AM in LA and the West Coast, 8:00 AM Denver, 9:00 AM in Mexico and Central Daylight, 3:00 PM in the UK, and 5:00 PM Israel time. If you are not able to watch the lesson live, we will, G-d willing be posting a link to it soon. If you can't see the broadcast, you might need to download a new version of Flash Media player which you can do here. We hope you enjoy the broadcast.

Wishing You Blessings Always,

Dr. Zev Ballen

 

 

 

 

The Appeal

By Dr. Zev Ballen

My Rebbe, Rabbi Shalom Arush says that one of the most important things that we need to do is to cleanse our hearts from anger. It is easier to hate than to love, so what can we do? Shaindy is someone who feels caught in this dilemma right now. 

She grew up in a religious home where nothing was real. Her father's constant yelling sapped the beauty from their lives, and left only the veneer of Judaism in their home and in their hearts. Nothing that Shaindy did was good enough or fast enough for her father, despite how hard she tried to please him. When she got married, Shaindy felt free for the first time in her life - but now due to circumstances beyond her control, she is once again living in her father's house - only this time with a husband and two children. Why is G-d doing this? What good will come from opening the wounds of her childhood?

Dear Father,

I want to introduce myself. I am your daughter, Shaindel. I have come back, maybe for the last time to be with you in the house of my youth. It is very painful for me here, but I'm learning that everything that Hashem does is for my absolute good. So I've asked myself. What possible good is there to hearing you yell and criticize everyone in this house? What good is it that I am acting like you toward my own children? What good is it for me to be feeling so angry and so frightened?

I want to share with you what I have learned from speaking to Hashem. It's very important for me to be here now. There are lots of skeletons in my closet. Of all your children, I was the most worried about not hurting you. We were all off the derech (not observant) but I hid it well. Now I'm the angriest of your children. Father, I'm just like you. I want to destroy. I want to ruin. I didn't realize this until recently. I was hiding it from myself - but that's not what Hashem wants. I need to stop hiding. Hashem doesn't want me to make aliyah now and continue to hide from my problems in Israel. Hashem knows that without you in my life, I would not work on myself. I would not uproot my anger and fix it once and for all.

Father, why do you hate for no reason? My husband's a good man. He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself and married me. He's helped me re-connect to being Jewish. Continue reading...

Have a great week!

Dr. Zev Ballen

Imagine, Only Good Thoughts

 

 

In this classic footage of Rabbi Shalom Arush that was filmed and translated by Rav Lazer Brody, the Rav reveals how he worked on himself to become a person who enjoys only wonderful wholesome thoughts and has no negative thoughts whatsoever. In these precious eight minutes, the Rav reveals the essence of Emuna Therapy and how it differs from secular therapy. Based on a teaching of Rebbe Nachman of Breslev, the Rav explains that a person is essentially made up of his thoughts and that the goal must be to overcome unwholesome thoughts with good thoughts.  The failure of secular therapy results from people trying to battle against bad thoughts on their own. The Rav says that we can only succeed by inputting a large amount of new information from outside of ourselves (the Torah). Then we will start thinking differently. The Rav admits that when he first started out, as a young bal teshuva, he too had many bad and unwholesome thoughts but that he didn't confuse himself and pressure himself about this. Instead he accepted that this was the level that he was on and simply decided that he had to study and work hard to put good data into his brain. He was successful because he programmed himself like a computer with a large amount of "new data" about emuna. By immersing ourselves in learning about emuna and talking to Hashem, the Rav says that we too can be completely free of negativity. Enjoy!

Wishing you Blessings Always,

Dr. Zev Ballen

 

Family Time

 photo by Cooriander

Now that the kids are home for Chol HaMoed, it's a great time to "educate" them by showing them the traits in yourself that you want them to emulate. There is nothing more compelling, for children, than to spend time with  patient, loving, non-critical and  non-moody parents!   

In Chinuch with Love , Rav Arush points out that the Torah's Commandment to educate our children is so strong that we repeat it three times every day in the Shema. There we say: "Teach them thoroughly to your children and speak of them while you sit in your home, while you walk on the way, when you retire and when you arise."

What should we be "speaking of" with our children during these times? Rav Arush says that the commandment refers first and foremost to teaching them about good behavior and Torah values by personal example and not through lectures, criticisms and punishments.

Rav Arush is inspiring a new generation of parents who are teaching their children this way, by working on themselves first! These lucky children are learning how to assess their own behavior and correct it when necessary, an essential skill for a successful life. Children who see that their parents are becoming happier as a result of toiling on themselves, naturally want to be like their parents.

Wishing you a Happy Passover,

Dr. Zev Ballen

 

 

Parenting with Love

 

by Dr. Zev Ballen

 In all my years in the mental health field, I have never read anything that resembles what my Rebbe, Rabbi Shalom Arush has written about parenting. I hope for your sake, that your children are still young - but even if they are not - you have the Rebbe's promise that if you follow his advise closely that you will see unbelievable Blessings - not only from your relationships with your children - but from your relationships with everybody.

First, with Hashem's help, I will present the simple and obvious truth of my Rebbe's approach to parenting. Then, from my experience as a psychotherapist, I will illustrate just how quickly it works. Continue Reading...

With Blessings Always,

Dr. Zev Ballen

 

Standing Alone

by Zev Ballen

Lately I've been immersed in Rabbi Shalom Arush's book The Garden of Wisdom (soon to be available in English, G-d willing) and I haven't been able to put it down. I don't think I have ever been more positively influenced by a book - even one by Rabbi Arush himself.

Today I came upon a passage in the Garden of Wisdom that raised a question in my mind. Rabbi Arush said that in his service to Hashem, Abraham remained so separate from others that it was if they did not exist. Rabbi Arush said further that any of us who want to want to serve Hashem in Truth must be willing to do the same - to be separate from others as though they do not exist.

How can we reconcile this teaching that Abraham lived his life as though there was only himself and Hashem with what the Torah says about Abraham in many other places? The Torah actually describes Abraham as the kindest and most hospitable man that ever lived - the consummate 'people-person' who would go to any length to spread peace and the knowledge of Hashem to anybody.

When Hashem said to Abraham “…I will make you the father of a multitude of nations,” Hashem in effect appointed Abraham to be the father of the entire world. Can you imagine the level of interpersonal savvy that Abraham must have possessed for Hashem to pick him for this role? How could Abraham have been both a religious zealot who separated himself from the world and a loving father-figure to all of the nations? Certainly this cannot be what Rabbi Arush meant when he said that Abraham lived his life as though he were alone with Hashem. See more here...

With Blessings Always,

Dr. Zev Ballen

Finding Your Way

My Rebbe, Rabbi Shalom Arush warns us to be careful to consult with people who we respect before making important life decisions -- but Rav Arush also says that when it comes to finding our own unique mission and true path in life, even the greatest Rabbis of today don't know how to advise us.

Tune into today's lesson and find out how Rav Arush expects you and your children to find your true place in life. The lesson will be given today Wednesday February 15, 2012 at 5:00 PM Israel time at 13 Shmuel HaNavi, Jerusalem, on the second floor of the new Yeshiva building where it is open to men. You can also hear the live broadcast at: www.Breslev.co.il: in LA and the West Coast at 7:00 AM; in Denver at 9:00 AM; in Mexico and CDT at 11:00 AM; and the UK at 3:00 PM. See you then!

With Blessings Always,

Dr. Zev Ballen

No Self-Blame

By Dr. Zev Ballen

The surest way to end up depressed is by telling yourself that you don't try hard enough or that you should have been more careful or that you are simply defective in some way. Our Sages tell us that even if one were to transgress the entire Torah many times, G-d forbid, that we dare not blame ourselves for it but rather should see it as having been Hashem's Will. Once we accept that everything comes from Hashem even the transgressions that we have made, we are able to make peace with the past - we know it was sent for our very best - and now we can ask Hashem to reveal the message that that he clothed in the "failure" or the Torah transgression that needed to take place. We want to know how we can improve our future not how we can change the past. We view whatever happened in the past with emuna - whatever happened was from Hashem and we do not have bechira (free-choice) regarding the past. We do however, have bechira for the future and so we can repent out of joy instead of sadness and have regret about the past with optimism for a brighter future. You can watch my full video lesson on this right here.

With Blessings Always,

Dr. Zev Ballen